mujhse dosti karoge?
i have relatives visiting from out of town - ones i haven’t seen for at least a decade. they feel alien to all of us, with differences in accents, thought, language and behavior. they are my parents guests so we’re all being quite nice…but being “forced” to be nice, once you return from a tiring day at work, when you’d much rather flop down in front of your TV and pop in a good film, while enjoying mum’s cooking, sucks. putting on an act, even while at home, sucks even more!
it’s been interesting though…
we all sit together in the lounge, (not) watching TV. the other day, “the practice” came on - the story revolved around a rape case. while my brother, father and i watched with interest, i could see that the cousins were quite embarrassed by the content. while not exactly explicit, they did mention SEX (oooh!) and showed a couple of kissing scenes (double ooooh!).
we weren’t really bothered because by now, we’re desensitized…and to be honest, i would have assumed that they (the aliens) would have been as well, given that they are exposed to the same programs and channels back home. i guess they have ‘parental control’ on…
it made me wonder though: is it a very ‘desi’ thing to be embarrassed by lovemaking scenes or sex on TV, around family? is it a religious thing? or is it just instinctive, regardless of where you’re from or where you’ve been brought up, to feel a twinge of discomfort or perhaps just heightened awareness, that the characters on TV are making out, when mom & dad are around?
is it like the whole ’smoking in front of your elders / parents’ thing? in fact, is THAT a desi thing or is it just one of those weird things that almost every one just feels uncomfortable doing because it is still slightly taboo? my parents know i smoke and are quite okay with it (or rather, they have given up on me) but i wouldn’t have the balls to light one up, while sitting in FRONT of them.
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i have decided that while i appreciate indian cinema (yes, screw you, i DO…in fact, i often go watch the dumb song and dance films - it’s my secret ‘fun’ thing to do!), i would never ever let my children (if i ever have any) grow up watching it. i don’t think there is anything that gets on my nerves more than a child knowing names of hindi films, actors or singing those songs. i will kill my child if i hear the brat hum an indian tune. it just doesn’t seem ‘right’, in fact it appears downright gross - they seem like ‘little adults’ (or monsters) then.
plus, i’ve seen what happens to kids who watch too many indian films. i was friends with one of them - she’s a lunatic! she truly used to think that shah rukh khan (leading bollywood actor) would rescue her. i used to watch, incredulous, as she turned every conversation with a boy into a ‘filmi’ thing (she would analyze and discuss a boys flippant remark like “hey, nice nail color” to death until she was convinced that he had just said ‘i love you’ in bollywood language). i could honestly picture her dancing around trees in the rain, in a white sari, on her dates!
*shudder*
and the boys! worse, much worse! you can spot one who grew up watching lots of crappy, b-grade indian shit when they come up to you with a line like “mujhse dosti karoge”? or “will you make beautiful friendship with me?” (hell no, motherfucker!) and expect the route of stalking, staring, whistling, singing cheap songs as they pass you in the office hall or sending anonymous e-mails to lead to everlasting love!!
never. ever. let. your. brat. watch. a. hindi. film.
trust me.
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so i know i haven’t written for ten days. and i’ve come back with the crap above! i know you hate me but trust me, with the aliens, insane work load and the boyfriend, i have NO time left over for what often feels like a frivolous activity.
that is all.
p.s: random stupid thought of the day: i wish humans could purr. sometimes, words aren’t good enough to express the pleasure one feels when someone plays with your hair…they ruin or over-intellectualize (??!) the moment.
i am going to head home now and practice purring.
…it’s better than mingling with the aliens.
We don’t purr, but we can hum/moan/sigh in contentment.
I have to say, while I’ve not had the opportunity to watch movies with my folks in years, moderately-graphic to graphic love scenes make me uncomfortable to watch with my parents in the room. There is something about that being no-go territory between familial generations. It’s not that I have a problem with the scenes themselves, as I enjoy watching porn, too.
But NOT with the ‘rents. And certainly not with family I haven’t seen in years. I don’t think it’s a Desi thing, it’s a human thing. You kind of want sex to be something uncomfortable between family–unless you’re from Alabama.
Comment by Kristie — July 31, 2005 @ 6:59 pm
I dont think its a desi thing! But Ive been through SO many occasions where in the middle of a steamy scene the remote control stops working and one of the parent walks in! :p
P.S. I hope the little story about the shahrukh khan isn’t about me!:p
Comment by Mona — August 1, 2005 @ 3:15 am
Men do purr contentedly. Listen carefully. Especially late at night.
Comment by uberhomme — August 1, 2005 @ 7:04 am
mona, i forgot all about how bollywood has ruined you! this one was actually about another girl - dont worry, you’re not a lunatic (yet).
Comment by rocky — August 1, 2005 @ 3:08 pm
I think when it comes to Bollywood, that is an important part of sub-continental culture and not just your kids but my kids too should be exposed to a little of it. Just as European cinema is important so is world cinema in an attempt to stave off the homogeneity of the US genre. There are of course good films and bad films within any field, let them watch the good shit first then they’ll shun the bollocks hopefully.
As regards parents, I smoked for over 15 years and yet it never discussed with my Mother, she would make a comment every now and again about the niff on my clothes, I would deny it. Stupid really being a grown man and all, I gave up so she wouldn’t have to find out!!! It’s as much a gora thing as a desi thing we’re all generally uncomfortable around our parents when it comes to sex drink drugs or anything embarrassingly emotional, or is that just as blokes?
Comment by Red Baron — August 1, 2005 @ 4:25 pm
BTW, hmmm mujhse dosti karoge, nice!
-Filed under chat-up lines (Indian)-
Comment by Red Baron — August 1, 2005 @ 4:27 pm
you know what? as a gora, you might actually just get away with that line!
Comment by rocky — August 1, 2005 @ 4:45 pm
i h.a.t.e. kids that are all about indian movies. they seem like bratty little prepubescent dorks without any charms typically found in children. Feel ridiculously strong about this!
Comment by sara — August 1, 2005 @ 5:10 pm
You have to tell me how to say it, there’s a very very foxy desi woman where I work, I can try it out! I haven’t had a slap in the mush for ages!!
Comment by Red Baron — August 2, 2005 @ 8:29 pm
heck I have been told I purr, and when I am told I do it, I can actually believe it…
Good point, if this is a desi thing- I suppose watching explicit scenes would be uncomfortable in many places all around the word, like Kristie said. But Iit would seem other places are a little more easy talking about sex than desis, no?
what about smoking? And what do you call a spouse’s parents, or a friends? do you call them by their names? ‘desis’ sure don’t….
Comment by vAgue — August 4, 2005 @ 6:58 am
Conan O’Brian purrs almost everynight.
Comment by ali — August 7, 2005 @ 12:12 am
I watched ’secretary ‘ with my Mum in the room. Really put a dampener on my enjoyment on it. Boy, that was awkward.
Comment by EasyJetsetter — August 18, 2005 @ 11:23 am