famished for meaning

sorry, i don’t really intend to turn this into a blog where i only post random news stories that amuse me but this one just could not be passed up:

President Bush got in a muddle when he tried to show of his new iPod.

The President was trying to show how cool he was as he showed off the music player in the Oval Office.

But he blundered when he called American Pie singer Don McLean ‘Dan’, says the Mirror.

And then he seemed to get confused when he tried to explain how the iPod worked.

“I get the shuffle and then I shuffle the shuffle,” he told confused reporters.

Source

i know i shouldn’t even bother pointing out the obvious but i can’t help myself: mr. shuffle the shuffle is the man responsible, THE man incharge of trying to fix eye-rack and more or less the entire bloody world??

i have no words.

none.

i am just going to retreat to my corner and shuffle the shuffle and listen to ‘mad world‘.

RIYADH (Reuters) - Four Saudi women teaching in a remote village school have married their driver so they can live closer to work, Al-Watan newspaper said on Monday.

The newspaper said the women from Al-Baha province in south-west Saudi Arabia were impressed with the man’s “good morals” and decided to marry him and live together in the village where they teach — avoiding a tiring daily commute.

They were married in a short ceremony, and have agreed to pay the driver a share of their monthly salaries, Al-Watan said. Women are not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, while men can marry up to four women according to Islamic law.

Source

Well, i guess that’s one way to get around that whole annoying li’l problem of not being allowed to drive…

i love how a lot of my virtual friends know me so well. ali nailed it on my old blog with a comment about how my relationship prevents me from thinking out loud online, the way i used to. and that is practically all i spoke about: love, relationships, marriage along with some bitching about paki men (which i SO can’t do anymore!), religion and bushy boy.

i’ve lost my anger and steam.

i need more than words.

i am feeling increasingly sick of the lack of action - baron is out there, marching for what he believes in while i am still trying to figure out what i believe in.

i asked the boy today whether he knew what he wanted and he said yes.

i envied him so much because what i want changes everyday. i have a new plan almost every day and a new desire almost every day. i decide to get married one day, decide that i could NEVER do that the next day, make plans to move out and then realize i love mommy and daddy too much. i think about going off to afghanistan (i have become obsessed with the place) to fight for womens rights there, then figure i must take my trip to thailand first or buy my car.

and nothing changes.

i never act on any of it.

from the outside, i look like such a stable person, with jobs and men that i stick to for years. internally, i fight everything everyday; i hate stability as much as i love it. i fear change more than anything yet i crave it.

the boy often hates the way i am because of my new plans every day which i never follow through with. i told him that it sucks to be me because its even worse - i am the one doing all this thinking, while not following through with it.

indecisiveness is such a bitch.

i know i am childish in my desire to be ‘different’ - i am such a cliche - i don’t want to end up like everyone else but i will; i already have.

my friend just gave birth to a baby and sent me pictures. i was horrified looking at it because it represented so much responsibility and change of lifestyle. i’d die if that THING was mine and i had to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of it and change its diapers and allow it to suck my tits.

eww.

fucking hell, i really thought i’d be more grown up by 27. i have acquired most of the symbols - job, gym membership, travel plans, about to buy my first car, etc but i really don’t know if i want it. i know its all necessary though.

you know, this sort of a whiny, incoherent post belongs on the old blog, which by the way (if i don’t change my mind AGAIN), will be going live soon. i no longer give a shit if the whole world knows who i am - i can’t be one of the anonymous fuckers on the internet, writing strong opinions and words that they are too afraid to stand by.

so yeah, this is my update - same ol’ crap.

also, in other random news, i encourage everyone (except ali) to buy this poster.

and in even more random news, michael jackson hired out a water park in dubai (he invited lots of parents and children to join in the fun) and roamed around in a white lycra body suit.

scary shit.

“We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long,” Marcavage said. “May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God,” Marcavage concluded.

yep, someone actually said that.

oh and if that wasn’t enough, i got this little gem from here:

Rev. Bill Shanks, pastor of New Covenant Fellowship of New Orleans, also sees God’s mercy in the aftermath of Katrina — but in a different way. Shanks says the hurricane has wiped out much of the rampant sin common to the city.

The pastor explains that for years he has warned people that unless Christians in New Orleans took a strong stand against such things as local abortion clinics, the yearly Mardi Gras celebrations, and the annual event known as “Southern Decadence” — an annual six-day “gay pride” event scheduled to be hosted by the city this week — God’s judgment would be felt.

“New Orleans now is abortion free. New Orleans now is Mardi Gras free. New Orleans now is free of Southern Decadence and the sodomites, the witchcraft workers, false religion — it’s free of all of those things now,” Shanks says. “God simply, I believe, in His mercy purged all of that stuff out of there — and now we’re going to start over again.”

The New Orleans pastor is adamant. Christians, he says, need to confront sin. “It’s time for us to stand up against wickedness so that God won’t have to deal with that wickedness,” he says.
(Source)

you see that?? stop shedding tears for the poor people of new orleans, it is at least now abortion free! plus, southern decadence got cancelled and what more could good, god fearing christians ask for?? so what if thousands are rendered homeless or dead? at least the gays did not get to parade around, celebrating sodomy and their false religion and their false god!

yayyyy for hurricane katrina!

…you know what i don’t understand? when a muslim says something so infinitely stupid and MEAN, it gets SO much coverage. it is analysed for days on end on CNN and BBC and all the moderate muslims are forced to abandon their 9 to 5 lives, come forward and defend their religion, the religion of peace and all that.

this reverend should really receive the same treatment or better yet, be shot for what he said. instead, because he is a god fearing christian, no one really gives a shit - i had trouble locating the original quote.

what amuses me the most is the amount this guy has in common with your usual mullah, who at this precise moment must be attributing this act to his own god, as revenge for america’s policies and presence in iraq! he spouts his nonsense after friday prayers and our good reverend says the same crap, different god, on sundays.

i don’t know who the fuck came up with religion but it needs to go.

completely.

UPDATE:

i found rev’s best friend!!

presenting Mr. Muhammad Yousef Al-Mlaifi:

“The Terrorist Katrina is One of the Soldiers of Allah…”.

“this wind, which completely wiped out American cities in these days, is a wind of mercy and blessing. It is almost certain that this is a wind of torment and evil that Allah has sent to this American empire.”
(Source)

Library lends out people

A library in Holland is lending out people, as well as books, in a new initiative aimed at challenging stereotypes.

People can borrow gay people, gipsies and Muslims for an hour and talk to them about their lives, reports Nu.nl.

Jan Krol, director of the public library, in Almelo, said one of his assistants came up with the idea.

He added: “It’s a good way to challenge stereotypes. Clients can lend out a Muslim woman in a head scarf and ask her the questions they wouldn’t dare to if they met on the street.”

The library has contacted ten people from different backgrounds who are willing to have a chat with library visitors in a pub near the library.

such measures really make me wonder about the kind of world we’re living in…especially since even to me, it actually doesn’t seem like such a terrible idea.

for some reason, this reminds me of “the whore of mensa“, a short story by woody allen. if you’ve read it, you’d remember that men used to buy time with “prostitutes” who could stimulate them mentally.

well, in a way, now you CAN rent out people who will stimulate you mentally, by telling you about their experiences and lives and thereby, perhaps ridding you of your biases and broadening your views.

like i said, that’s just fucking weird.

and perhaps much needed.

p.s: i had to change the title for the post from “fucking weird” to just weird because my stupid service provider BLOCKED the page, because the word “fucking” was in the url.

bastards.

the days leading up to my birthday were horrible. everyone around me was acting retarded and suspicious. i was convinced that i would end up having the worst one ever - yes, even worse than last year when the psycho ex girlfriend of the boy i was dating turned up at his house at 4 a.m. and broke everything in his house!

i was thinking about just sitting at home and sleeping it off but i wasn’t allowed to. one of my friends sent me this e-mail after i whined about how i did not want to do anything, about how i wanted to be left alone:

yes, whether you like it or not, kicking and screaming, you have to be dragged through the whole getting older thing. Actually let me remind you why we celebrate. Yes i have to bring in the apes, jungle, genetics…i know you love the arguments. Its to celebrate the fact that you have managed to reach a luscious delectable age of 27, escaped natural calamities, typhoons and stuff, dreadful wild animals ( i don’t mean the male variety of our species) who might have had you for dinner…or in your case should i say a snack. So fuck the typical response of ‘oh my gawd i want to be a pre-pubescent with a pea for a brain’ and go out and have fun. Celebrate!!

i love this girl!

so anyway, the boyfriend knew that i wasn’t interested in going to a stupid club and being surrounded by strangers so he threw a surprise party for me - which wasn’t such a big surprise because everyone had been acting SO weird that day that i knew something was up. but it was BRILLIANT because a lot of friends were there and the boy took care of every single detail, down to the kinda music i like, my favourite cake, the helium balloons, confetti, alcohol and FIREWORKS!!

unfuckingbelievable.

and the next day, i was treated to flowers, lunch, a massage at some place and a spa treatment!

and the day AFTER, when i had thought that it was all over, he gave me my gift:

an iPod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and a playboy bunny mug:)!

i am completely impressed by the boyfriend who has by now more than made up for his suspicious and retarded behaviour of last week (which i could not have dealt with, without the extremely wise kristie’s advice - thanks, babe).

however, the boy has some major competition because i am falling in love with the iPod…although i actually had SO much trouble installing it and getting it to work that i am actually NOT that impressed with my first experience with an apple product (sorry baron, i know you’re a mac man).

plus, i got a TON of wishes from everyone i know in my city, everyone from back home and everyone online!!

so basically, i’d say that this has to be the best birthday EVER - turning 27 and becoming a budhee* isn’t so bad when you’re surrounded by such awesome people and so much love!

*old woman

i hadn’t heard about the dove ad campaign nor come across it until yesterday. i went to amy’s site, who said that she started some shit on justin’s site because she got pissed off by what she read.

he was picking on fat women.

actually no, thats not fair. he said:

“Real beauty = Being a chunky fat woman?”

as expected, his audience, which consists mainly of horny boys drooling over nipple slips and teenage celebrities, went wild with it and slammed the campaign because they did not want fat women splashed all over the billboards and TV screens.

you know what? fair enough.

although i don’t think those women are fat at all, i really couldn’t be arsed about the opinions of justin and his band of horny boys.

however, i decided to write about it after loki left a link to it in the comments.

i kept going back to the website and reading their tagline:

“real women have real curves”

and i kept getting more pissed off.

because you know what?

some woman have curves. some women don’t. some women are fat while some are thin.

they are ALL real women.

i’m a size 4 - i don’t have the curves that a size 12 woman does.

am i less real? is it my turn to feel ashamed about my body? is that what we are going to do now? are we going to start a “fat is phat” or “fat is the new pink”campaign?

i am sure that there are a lot of skinny women out there feeling pissed off and offended because they don’t have curves and are, at least according to dove, not ‘real women’.

i think its a great idea to use women of different sizes in an ad campaign. it’s good to encourage acceptance of all sizes. it’s brilliant that they are talking about ‘real beauty’.

but it’s not okay to do it at the cost of alienating the skinny lot.

and don’t tell me that they won’t do that. all the comments on different sites, forums or blogs now have a “thank god we’re being shown real women, not those skinny coke head freaks” feel to them.

this guy said (in defense of the campaign):

They are average, normal American women….

These women tend to be the ones who write cute love notes on the waxed paper that wraps your PB&J, my friend. They are usually not coke-snorting freaks with a warped sense of reality–where fake tits, must-have “help” or nannies, and a carrot-only diet is the way to go. Model-like women are really the abnormal ones. Rarely do normal, bring-home-to-mom model-types exist. Trust us.

so skinny chick = freak or bitch or less loving?

thanks a lot!

and i love how the marketing department of dove is pretending they’re geniuses that have discovered something new, by saying:

“It is our belief that beauty comes in different shapes, sizes and ages,” said Philippe Harousseau, Dove’s marketing director on the “Campaign for Real Beauty.”

no shit, sherlock.

“Our mission is to make more women feel beautiful every day by broadening the definition of beauty.”

or coming up with one that celebrates curves, thereby excluding non-curvy women, which in any case does not happen to be the target market, since you ARE selling an intensive firming lotion to the curvaceous lot. oooh, did i forget to mention that priceless bit of information?

yep, real women have REAL curves but they still need to be firmer.

bottom line? weight does not define how ‘real’ you are and has nothing to do with your beauty. i applaud the effort but i HATE the tagline.

and the underwear.

i mean, who the fuck wears white cotton underpants?!

i don’t know if any of you have come across this one yet:

drink ads ordered to use ugly men!

Drinks companies have been ordered to use uglier men in their advertising campaigns.The Advertising Standards Authority believes “balding” and “paunchy” men would be less likely to encourage women to drink to achieve social success.The new advertising code stresses that links must not be made between alcohol and seduction.

A campaign for popular sparkling drink Lambrini has become the first to fall foul of the new rules.

The Authority objected to a poster which showed three women “hooking” a slim, young man in a parody of a fairground game.

The industry regulator instructed the firm: “We would advise that the man in the picture should be unattractive - ie overweight, middle-aged, balding etc.

ridiculous, isn’t it?

first of all, ‘ugly’ is a horrible word (when used to describe the way someone looks). secondly, to then bracket someone who is MIDDLE AGED (since when did age have anything to do with looks??? and isn’t brad pitt over forty?) or overweight or balding as that is even worse!

this is so goddamn hypocritical - for as long as i can remember, beer ads (aimed at men) have been showing hot women. in fact, almost all advertising aimed at men shows a chick with big tits, long legs, big hair, red nails and mouth, going ga-ga over the man for using that particular brand. and you know, its all good since it’s just a woman, and she was always meant to be decorative anyway.

but now that we’re objectifying MEN and using the hotter ones in ads, to encourage women to do (bad, bad) things like drinking beer (i find their faith in the power of advertising quite misplaced, to begin with), it’s suddenly all wrong.

i can’t believe they are allowed to get away with this crap.

however, on the plus side, based on their stupid qualifications for ugly, my dad (and most of the adult male population) can finally star in a commercial!

i have relatives visiting from out of town - ones i haven’t seen for at least a decade. they feel alien to all of us, with differences in accents, thought, language and behavior. they are my parents guests so we’re all being quite nice…but being “forced” to be nice, once you return from a tiring day at work, when you’d much rather flop down in front of your TV and pop in a good film, while enjoying mum’s cooking, sucks. putting on an act, even while at home, sucks even more!

it’s been interesting though…

we all sit together in the lounge, (not) watching TV. the other day, “the practice” came on - the story revolved around a rape case. while my brother, father and i watched with interest, i could see that the cousins were quite embarrassed by the content. while not exactly explicit, they did mention SEX (oooh!) and showed a couple of kissing scenes (double ooooh!).

we weren’t really bothered because by now, we’re desensitized…and to be honest, i would have assumed that they (the aliens) would have been as well, given that they are exposed to the same programs and channels back home. i guess they have ‘parental control’ on…

it made me wonder though: is it a very ‘desi’ thing to be embarrassed by lovemaking scenes or sex on TV, around family? is it a religious thing? or is it just instinctive, regardless of where you’re from or where you’ve been brought up, to feel a twinge of discomfort or perhaps just heightened awareness, that the characters on TV are making out, when mom & dad are around?

is it like the whole ’smoking in front of your elders / parents’ thing? in fact, is THAT a desi thing or is it just one of those weird things that almost every one just feels uncomfortable doing because it is still slightly taboo? my parents know i smoke and are quite okay with it (or rather, they have given up on me) but i wouldn’t have the balls to light one up, while sitting in FRONT of them.

********************************************

i have decided that while i appreciate indian cinema (yes, screw you, i DO…in fact, i often go watch the dumb song and dance films - it’s my secret ‘fun’ thing to do!), i would never ever let my children (if i ever have any) grow up watching it. i don’t think there is anything that gets on my nerves more than a child knowing names of hindi films, actors or singing those songs. i will kill my child if i hear the brat hum an indian tune. it just doesn’t seem ‘right’, in fact it appears downright gross - they seem like ‘little adults’ (or monsters) then.

plus, i’ve seen what happens to kids who watch too many indian films. i was friends with one of them - she’s a lunatic! she truly used to think that shah rukh khan (leading bollywood actor) would rescue her. i used to watch, incredulous, as she turned every conversation with a boy into a ‘filmi’ thing (she would analyze and discuss a boys flippant remark like “hey, nice nail color” to death until she was convinced that he had just said ‘i love you’ in bollywood language). i could honestly picture her dancing around trees in the rain, in a white sari, on her dates!

*shudder*

and the boys! worse, much worse! you can spot one who grew up watching lots of crappy, b-grade indian shit when they come up to you with a line like “mujhse dosti karoge”? or “will you make beautiful friendship with me?” (hell no, motherfucker!) and expect the route of stalking, staring, whistling, singing cheap songs as they pass you in the office hall or sending anonymous e-mails to lead to everlasting love!!

never. ever. let. your. brat. watch. a. hindi. film.

trust me.

********************************************

so i know i haven’t written for ten days. and i’ve come back with the crap above! i know you hate me but trust me, with the aliens, insane work load and the boyfriend, i have NO time left over for what often feels like a frivolous activity.

that is all.

p.s: random stupid thought of the day: i wish humans could purr. sometimes, words aren’t good enough to express the pleasure one feels when someone plays with your hair…they ruin or over-intellectualize (??!) the moment.

i am going to head home now and practice purring.

…it’s better than mingling with the aliens.

i am not sure what sort of a hole in my soul i’m trying to fill. it’s not even one that i consciously feel. just a sort of emptiness, which in all honesty, i have gotten used to. no matter what happens in my life, i often go through phases of just feeling slightly dead, slightly disgusted by everything, and to make things worse, i then do things i would otherwise bitch about or despise (like shopping too much or being a brand whore or partying or drinking). all that is supposed to make the dullness, boredom and emptiness go away but it doesn’t.

i know someone who shags too much to fill her hole (the one in her SOUL, you gutter minded cows!). i sat with her the other day and tried explaining to her that her promiscuity was the reason why she didn’t have any real friends (because men can’t look at her as anything but an easy lay and women feel threatened by her willingness to put out within two hours and her massive boobs!). i told her she wouldn’t find true love this way. i told her that it wont make her problems go away. i told her that she needs to deal with her emptiness, her issues. i told her a lot of crap and then i went out and shopped and filled the hole in MY soul.

i wonder how we can be so judgmental, yet feel so pious.

i sometimes make myself sick.

***********************************

i went down to one of my favorite clubs on last week - its been renovated and renamed - i like it because although the people behind it are the most pretentious, snobbish lot in this city, the club is extremely basic. i LOVE the way it looks (i’ll take a few pictures the next time i go - this time, i had had one too many vodka redbulls to be much good with a camera!).

anyway, i had the BEST time - i sat around and just watched the queens - dressed in super tight jeans, tucked into their mid calf length white boots with big white or gold studded belts, dancing to ‘billie jean’. i watched them get mad because my male friends were talking to me (and not to them), i watched them shake that booty to ‘don’t stop till you get enough’ and grind, much to the chagrin of some of the homophobic men out there. i laughed as an ex said that he would have shagged one of the queens (who was HOT!) if only he had boobs and i replied that that had never stopped him before!

the only thing was that it all seemed slightly depressing, slightly desperate. i felt bad that the straight lot (including me) just sat around and watched with fascination and bemusement as men grinded and got it on. i can not imagine what a pain in the ass it must be to be judged solely on your sexual preferences and to be alienated because of them.

i get sickened by arguments against homosexuality, i get pissed off when it is referred to as an aberration or an illness. i feel sorry for the gays going mad in clubs because it appears that they’ve been let out of a cage…all week they are stuck in heterosexual environments, possibly forced to ogle at women because they don’t want to let on who they really are, given the homophobia, and finally, on a drunken thursday night, they can be themselves. and even then, people stare (and admittedly, i was one of them on this occasion).

they do their nails, their eyebrows, cleanse, tone and moisturize…they wear mascara and liner and lip gloss…and we figure that this can’t be right, no matter how much we advocate freedom of choice.

the next day, we were over at a friend’s place, talking about our night out, and most of the guys made horrified sounds (OH NO!!! REALLY? THANK GOD I DIDN’T GO!).

why are straight men so scared of gays? i understand you don’t fancy taking it up the arse and no one is really asking you to, you know. but if that’s how someone likes it, what the fuck is YOUR problem (i know there is a lot more to homosexuality than just the sex, but that bit is usually what makes most straight men extremely uncomfortable)?

if i could, if i had the power, i would eradicate hypocrisy and our tendency to judge. it is beginning to piss me off more than anything on earth.

but i wont (in all likelihood) ever have a such a power…besides, if i were to have it, i would need to first start with the most difficult place: myself.

may be i’ll just continue to shop instead.

p.s: since we are, or at least i am, talking of shopping - i have to share that i am terribly excited about getting the horny maids outfit (fishnet stockings, garters, super sexy bra, etc) from agent provocateur. i haven’t felt so excited about a purchase since i got the godfather dvd set! the boyfriend will become a slave for life after this outfit is unleashed on him (mwaahahahaha)!!