famished for meaning

the days leading up to my birthday were horrible. everyone around me was acting retarded and suspicious. i was convinced that i would end up having the worst one ever - yes, even worse than last year when the psycho ex girlfriend of the boy i was dating turned up at his house at 4 a.m. and broke everything in his house!

i was thinking about just sitting at home and sleeping it off but i wasn’t allowed to. one of my friends sent me this e-mail after i whined about how i did not want to do anything, about how i wanted to be left alone:

yes, whether you like it or not, kicking and screaming, you have to be dragged through the whole getting older thing. Actually let me remind you why we celebrate. Yes i have to bring in the apes, jungle, genetics…i know you love the arguments. Its to celebrate the fact that you have managed to reach a luscious delectable age of 27, escaped natural calamities, typhoons and stuff, dreadful wild animals ( i don’t mean the male variety of our species) who might have had you for dinner…or in your case should i say a snack. So fuck the typical response of ‘oh my gawd i want to be a pre-pubescent with a pea for a brain’ and go out and have fun. Celebrate!!

i love this girl!

so anyway, the boyfriend knew that i wasn’t interested in going to a stupid club and being surrounded by strangers so he threw a surprise party for me - which wasn’t such a big surprise because everyone had been acting SO weird that day that i knew something was up. but it was BRILLIANT because a lot of friends were there and the boy took care of every single detail, down to the kinda music i like, my favourite cake, the helium balloons, confetti, alcohol and FIREWORKS!!

unfuckingbelievable.

and the next day, i was treated to flowers, lunch, a massage at some place and a spa treatment!

and the day AFTER, when i had thought that it was all over, he gave me my gift:

an iPod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and a playboy bunny mug:)!

i am completely impressed by the boyfriend who has by now more than made up for his suspicious and retarded behaviour of last week (which i could not have dealt with, without the extremely wise kristie’s advice - thanks, babe).

however, the boy has some major competition because i am falling in love with the iPod…although i actually had SO much trouble installing it and getting it to work that i am actually NOT that impressed with my first experience with an apple product (sorry baron, i know you’re a mac man).

plus, i got a TON of wishes from everyone i know in my city, everyone from back home and everyone online!!

so basically, i’d say that this has to be the best birthday EVER - turning 27 and becoming a budhee* isn’t so bad when you’re surrounded by such awesome people and so much love!

*old woman

easy jetsetter’s comment on my last post made me realize that i’ve never written about my parents relationship. i guess it is something really sacred to me, which is why i feel that i may trivialize it by blogging about it.

i am not sure where my anti-marriage ideas stem from…i don’t know how or when i decided that marriage was a stupid idea and couldn’t possibly work. as i grow older though, i realize that my views are always either too idealistic or too cynical. i always thought that IF i married, it would have to be with someone i thought i could live with forever (anything less was stupid). yet, i also knew that i (probably) could never spend ‘forever’ with someone.

i’ve decided that i need to let go of my extreme ideas…and take chances. i think it was a conversation with my dad that helped change my mind. my mom was out of town for a day and he called me the evening that i was supposed to pick her up to make sure i would get his wife to him, safe and sound. and then he said that his friends had invited him over to their place but he declined saying that he was depressed because wifey was out of town. he said, “everything seems horrible without her, even YOU guys”. i laughed and told him that she’d only gone for ONE night, get over it.

he never realized it, in fact, i don’t know whether either of them realize how much i admire their love. i appreciate the fact that we have NEVER seen them fight in front of us…i have never heard either of them say anything bad about each other (unless you count the funny remarks regarding each others weight or choices in films or opposite sex). everytime i come home, they’re lying together on the bed, hugging, and watching TV. when she’s standing around in the kitchen, he comes up and hugs her from behind or pinches her ass! he doesn’t let her shut the bathroom door, because he feels that it puts too much distance between them! he doesn’t go anywhere (except to work), even when it is just to run an errand, without her. they hold hands. they still get each other flowers and cards.

and they still shag!!

oops! too much information?

anyway, apparently my dad was as commitment phobic as i am and really had no intention of marrying…on his wedding night, he quite honestly confessed to my mom that he was pretty sure he had made a mistake and that he would be divorcing her after three to six months, since that was the longest he could envision staying with someone. thirty years down the line, he realizes that he was kinda off with that estimate!

so while the world around me convinces me that all relationships are doomed from the start, that marriage is the begining of the end, coming home to my parents fills me with some sort of hope and the secret desire to find something close to what they have, even if it is just for a short while.

(more…)

i am extremely excited about this new blog.

i can finally tell you stories about my silly city.

this feels unbelievably liberating.

if i go to madinat jumeirah, i can actually write about how much i love that place.

i wish i had done this before…i think this may help me snap out of my sulky, childish ‘i’m so bored’ phase.

i wonder (over-analytical me kicks in) whether i am craving change or excitement because i am in a real relationship that may actually go somewhere (gasp!). he laughs often and tells me that i would be the ‘runaway bride’. relax, i am not getting hitched. it’s just that there are no barriers anymore. i always chose men that i couldn’t marry, because they belonged to a different religion, different country. and this time, he is the same religion, same country and everyone keeps asking, ’so when are you guys getting married?’ - it gets on my nerves.

changing blogs, changing hair colors (drastically), changing the way i dress and developing a booty short obsession to replace the thong one seem to be the only way to address the fact that it doesn’t look like i’ll be changing my man anytime soon.